It is All About Mindset
I chose to drive to Iowa to spend a short time with one of my brothers and my sister. I have to say there are a lot of BAR feelings with these two. If you worked with me before - you know what BAR is. Betrayal, Abandonment, and Rejection.
You see, I am not perfect but I am always practicing. I drove there from Wisconsin to put flowers on my parent's graves. Many of you know that I took care of my dad with dementia for the end of his life. My sister never came to see him but my brother did. She was supposed to come the Christmas before he died but changed her mind at the last minute. We didn’t know it would be his last Christmas.
As I was driving to Wisconsin, it was very gray. I was near Dickyville, where the Grotto is….a place my parents used to take us to visit. If you know me, I believe that people we love become guardian angels whom we know by name. I asked them to be present with me as I visited them. I told them that I was worried and I wanted to trust everything was going to be ok. I said that I just wanted them to love me and accept me. Just then the most beautiful sunlight came out of the clouds and the rays of light were amazing.
I could hear them saying that they do love me as I love them. The judgment they have for me is no different than the judgments I have for them. That my wanting them to change is no different than them wanting me to change. That I have to accept them as they are and just love them. I am accountable.
My mindset changed. We had a short and very nice visit. I had put flowers on my aunt's grave as well. I remember her very well. I am happy that now I am only 4 hours from where their physical bodies are laid to rest.
What we choose to digest or eliminate in our brains is not different than what we put in our bodies to eat. Some things are bad for us and we still have them. We maybe enjoy them for a moment and then it may be painful later. When we are with people we love and we feel bad around them- it's no different. In our mindset, if we choose to focus on the negative then we will have those bad feelings. We can let go of what does not serve us.
Having any fear or worry about my family does not serve me. I cannot change them, but I can change my perspective. I am working on not taking things personally. I am working on loving myself and practicing self-care. I am working on not emotionally eating. So many things are practice and not perfection.
Fran Lambert and I have this Self Care/ Self Love and for me - with a side of weight loss. It's really about optimal health. She is a certified health coach and a personal trainer. I am sharing my knowledge as well. I hope you can join us on Monday.