Self-Advocacy
Are you looking to enhance the skill of self-advocacy?
Be it for a raise, finding a mentor, building a business, gaining visibility or credit for your work, or setting a much-needed boundary, not advocating for what you want/need can result in plenty of distress, disappointment, and loss.
You may know this experience.
As always, awareness is the first step in changing oneself. So, let's get to the two most common underlying (perceived) dilemmas in the pursuit of self-advocacy.
First is the trap of fear - what will people think?
Second is the thought - I shouldn't brag or ask for more. It turns out, this can be about what people will think.
Often these are beliefs rooted in old experiences, and the trick is to see them for what they are - beliefs, not facts.
It's also "normal" because if you trace human history, your survival depended on acceptance in the tribe. In modern history, what remains is a desire for approval and acceptance. 
I call the trap, just that, because when we become too caught and constricted by this fear, we are hooked in a way that creates a feeling of stuckness - it disrupts calm, focus, self-esteem, flow, and you guessed it, speaking up for ourselves. (Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi writes on optimal performance and flow)
Two questions for you:
What if, the model you've used in decision making around speaking up, which prioritizes fear of what others think over what you most want and need, could change?
Are you open to a new option?
If you responded, yeah, I'm in...
In your new model of self-advocacy, take the following steps:
Notice excessive worry about someone's opinion.
Re-route your attention.
Give yourself permission to simply want what you want.
Implement one action right now which supports your permission to self to speak up.
Repeat often.
If you want personalized guidance on creating new mental models, reach out. Being wired for external approval has deep roots, yet this thinking can still be re-wired. It's never too late, never about perfection (the lowest bar - it doesn't exist), it's about conscious living - getting in that driver's seat and heading in a direction you want to go.
Have fun and keep growing,
Ellie
If you are curious about how working together will support your work advancement and life satisfaction, email me to have a conversation. [email protected]
Ellie Lane Coaching
720 Washington St, Suite 603
Hanover, MA 02339
United States of America