She cultivates life through genius and generosity. She is an alchemist who brings forth a newness to be woven into the past. She is deeply rooted in trusting herself. She is devoted to the unfolding of her sacredness as she allows and nurtures new life to emerge. Underneath the ash and rubble, seeds begin to take hold. Her unwavering belief and divine knowing in the circular nature of things, has taught her patience and has forever shifted her concept of time.
In the quiet slumber of daybreak, she rises and begins again. She understands that life thrives through diversity. It is our differences, our complexities, that create our oneness. We are perfection—a piece of the whole. She wields her trust as an act of devotion; to love and compassion. She holds mercy within the palm of her hand.
Within the sanctuary of her heart, she sits in stillness. She releases the fears of separation and judgment. The warm streaming of tears is a soothing surrender to the uncertainty which looms outside her door. She continues to sit; to breathe; to shed and release in the container of her heart space. She feels the sway of faith and fear.
She is at the threshold; will she choose fear or love?
Waves of sadness come and go. She is no longer afraid of her tears. She bears witness to her own grief and places one hand on her heart and one on the earth. The connection to the earth, to her ancestors, and what has died before, steadies her in the sea of emotion. With her hand, she acknowledges and accepts the foundation Mother Earth offers. Love pulsates from her heart into her hand. With each thrust, she visualizes the energy of love radiating beyond her, into her family, neighbors, and the wide world beyond her.
Tears are the fire that burns—the clearing away—the release of the old. She understands this is part of the circle of change, and as the wheel turns, she is offered a choice.
Fear or love?
Love is the pathway to unification; to wholeness; to universal wellbeing and this is her intended path, but sometimes fear shows up. She takes the detoured route and finds pain and its sidekick, confusion. Once she recognizes what they are, she is no longer held captive by pain and confusion. She can make a choice to step into her still point, her place of power, and course correct. She has the ability, the right, and the courage to choose again. As she allows herself to cleanse; to breathe; to choose, she forgives herself. She begins over again. She wields a sword of self-forgiveness and finds benevolence rising within. Every action, beginning, and choice moves her closer.
She always has a choice.
A choice to return to love. Over, and over, and over, the invitation to love is never rescinded. Love is omnipresent, the fluid life force that exists in all.
Nicole Hendrick Donovan is an author, reflective storyteller, and speaker who offers personal essays, memoir, and workshops as a container for others to seek their inner wisdom and truth. Her memoir, A Life Suspended: A Mother and Son’s Story of Autism, Extinction Bursts, and Living a Resilient Life, brings the reader into the home and heart of a family in crisis. Donovan’s vulnerable storytelling cultivates compassion and understanding, opening a door where acceptance and empathy expand. Nicole is a contributing writer to The Mighty, Autism Parenting Magazine, Finding Cooper’s Voice, and Herself360. As an extension of her offerings, she is the owner of Rose Ray Healing Arts, and curator of her signature Rose Ray Surrender Spray. You can connect with Nicole on Facebook and Instagram @nhdwrites, as well as nhdwrites.com