Kaleidoscope

When we were children, we saw an arrangement of brilliant colors, could catalyze different combinations, and create our own realities filled with wonder. We were born with our own unique perspectives. We were out-of-the-box thinkers who governed ourselves freely. This is how we came into the world. With a full spectrum of light and possibilities.

We were given rules and taught by our parents, teachers and peers how to act, how to think, and how to be. We got swept up in a world of social conditioning. If we thought differently, expanded ourselves sideways instead of upright, we were often redirected to stay within imposed boundaries and sometimes, we were even shamed by others to fall back into step.

Over time, we became our own keepers, our own line leaders, setting ourselves in the box with its tall sides and limited view. Our scope of colors had become muted. We were stagnant in our growth, as we had strayed away from the natural course of things. In our slumber, discontent grew over years and years, many of which were spent unaware of our true organic nature that was waiting to be rediscovered. The divide between who we were, and who we were meant to be, was a lifetime in the making.

In the process of becoming an adult, we allowed ourselves to be covered in piles of, “have-to’s,” and “must-do’s,” ultimately weighing us down. We rushed from one thing to another, barely seeing, barely breathing, and just getting by. We lived and prayed to the god of scarcity, the one that told us that we didn’t have enough and we didn’t do enough. These messages, however covert or direct, sifted down deep inside to our core.

When did I become this human doing? That my worth was calculated by my productivity? That my value was determined by how many things I checked off my list on any particular day?

STOP—BREATHE—RELEASE.

Return to your center. You have the power within you to shift and change. Our perspective is just that—ours. Did you lose your kaleidoscope somewhere along the way? Well, you are not alone. Many of us have and that is okay.

Take back your power to see things in a new way. Take time to be—slow down—walk in beauty and allow your mind to drift to unexpected places. Find the sanctuary that exists inside of you and go there often. Feel the feelings rise up to greet you, thank them for their time and the clarity they give. Welcome tears that wash away residue and dirt and polish your lens clean.

Now, peer deeply into your kaleidoscope. Take it outside into the world and see the subtle changes that have occurred. Are the colors more vivid? Is the air softer? Do you hear the sounds of life brimming over? Do you feel your heart expanding inside your chest?

Take it in. Take it all in. It is yours.

Gifting ourselves with new perspectives—tossing out internal dialogs that kept us bound to old patterns and conditioning of the past—is a profound act of self-love. You have the power; it has been there from the beginning. Return to the girl you once were and delight in her magnificence. Witness her divine mysteries as she unfolds into the spectrum of light.

Nicole Hendrick Donovan is an author, reflective storyteller, and speaker who offers personal essays, memoir and workshops as a container for others to seek their inner wisdom and truth. Her memoir, A Life Suspended: A Mother and Son’s Story of Autism, Extinction Bursts, and Living a Resilient Life, brings the reader into the home and heart of a family in crisis. Donovan’s vulnerable storytelling cultivates compassion and understanding, opening a door where acceptance and empathy expand. As an extension of her offerings, she is the owner of Rose Ray Healing Arts, and curator of her signature Rose Ray Surrender Spray. www.nhdwrites.com