Women and Confidence
What Makes You Confident? A Teen Leadership Coach’s Perspective
Confidence—it’s a word that carries significant weight, whether you’re a teen or a professional woman navigating a room full of powerful peers. Recently, in a women’s networking group, many shared their nervousness about presenting themselves among other successful women. As a leadership coach, I know this feeling is not uncommon—and it’s through practice and intentional effort, that confidence becomes stronger and more natural.
Confidence is a skill, not an innate trait. Often, we mistakenly believe that others have it effortlessly while we’re left struggling. The truth is, that everyone experiences self-doubt; the difference lies 
in how we approach and grow from it.
Let me share insights from my work with teens—because building confidence is a universal process—and how those lessons can resonate with women striving for a confident presence.
Understanding the Lack of Confidence
No matter who you are, the root of low confidence often stems from external pressures. For teens, it’s social media, academics, and peer expectations. For women, it can be societal standards, workplace dynamics, or comparisons to others.
Leadership coaching creates a safe space to unpack these influences and redirect focus inward. It’s not about fitting someone else’s mold of confidence; it’s about recognizing that confidence is a work in progress, grounded in self-awareness and self-acceptance.
How Leadership Coaching Builds Confidence
- Self-awareness and Reflection
Confidence starts with understanding yourself. Leadership coaching, whether for teens or adults, emphasizes identifying your core values, unique strengths, and areas for growth. When you’re clear about what makes you stand out, you can step into any room with authenticity and assurance. - Skill Development
Confidence grows with preparation. Just as teens learn communication, decision-making, and problem-solving, women can refine their ability to articulate ideas, manage challenges, and advocate for themselves. These practical skills are the foundation of self-assurance. - Overcoming the Fear of Failure
Fear of failure holds so many back. A leadership coach helps reframe setbacks as opportunities for learning and growth. Embracing this mindset transforms hesitation into bold action. - Celebrating Small Wins
Confidence isn’t built overnight—it’s a series of small steps. Recognizing and celebrating your achievements, no matter how minor helps solidify your belief in your abilities and propels you forward.
Confidence Through Leadership Experiences
Building confidence doesn’t have to start with big, bold moves—it can be nurtured through small, intentional acts that lay the foundation for growth. Simple actions like offering a genuine compliment, practicing gratitude, helping someone in need, or trying something new can spark a sense of accomplishment and connection.
For teens, leadership experiences such as participating in group projects teach them to trust their abilities and contribute meaningfully to a team. For women, the same principle applies, whether it’s speaking up in a meeting, volunteering to lead an initiative, or mentoring someone who could benefit from your guidance.
Each of these actions reinforces a powerful truth: your contributions matter. Over time, these moments of stepping into leadership—no matter how small—foster a sense of belonging and strengthen the foundation of your confidence. Confidence grows with each choice to engage, lead, and connect, reminding you that leadership is built one step at a time.
Why Confidence Matters
Confidence is essential for growth and success. For women, as for teens, it enables you to:
- Speak with authority in professional settings.
- Make decisions with clarity and conviction.
- Navigate setbacks with resilience.
- Build meaningful connections and relationships.
These are the traits that define leaders, no matter their age or environment.
Final Thoughts
What makes me confident as a leadership coach is witnessing transformations—seeing teens, and women, unlock their potential, grow their self-belief, and thrive.
If you’ve ever struggled to feel confident in a room full of successful peers, remember: that you’re not alone, and confidence is a skill you can develop. By reflecting on your strengths, embracing growth, and practicing leadership, you’ll find yourself stepping into those spaces with increasing ease.
Whether I’m working with teens or connecting with women, the principles of confidence-building remain the same. Confidence isn’t about perfection—it’s about progress, resilience, and knowing that your voice matters.
Are you ready to embrace your confidence and leadership potential? Let’s connect through Peers Not Fears and explore how leadership coaching can support your journey.
Lorraine Connell, MEd, MS, is the Owner of Peers not Fears, LLC, and a veteran educator of over 20 years. As a workshop facilitator, speaker, coach, and consultant for schools and youth-serving organizations, she has developed curricula on leadership and empathy. She works in collaboration with others to provide coaching to educators and students everywhere through her company Peers not Fears, LLC. Lorraine hosts the podcast Education Unimagined, where she interviews students, current and past, on their experiences in education, and listens to their advice on how we could do better. Her work spans the impact of understanding how and where our biases come into play, to develop strong communities.
In 2022, Lorraine left her full-time chemistry teaching job to work with interested schools, families, and communities to develop more equitable access and empowerment of students. When she is not working with others on developing leadership skills she is supporting her two boys in all their adventures. Lorraine and her husband Justin are both educators and work to improve and develop their and others' social and emotional learning.
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I'm the go-to leadership coach for young teens who are tired of succumbing to their insecurities and fears they aren't good enough, to see their confidence grow.