The Silent Killer

author/source: Pam Garramone, M.Ed.

Photo Courtesy of Ifrah AkhterSelf-doubt is the silent killer.
It is insidious.
It creeps in; it’s sometimes invisible and speaking super softly; it can be almost silent and sometimes it’s clear, present, and loud!
Self-doubt kills confidence.
It kills dreams.
It can make you feel stuck and unmotivated.
Who are you to think you can _____________?!
Fill in the blank.
It’s the voice in your head that tells you you’re not good enough, smart enough, creative enough, funny enough, fit enough, disciplined enough, successful enough, ___________...fill in the blank...
that’s my voice.
Do you have it too? What is your self-doubt saying to you?
In the last two months, that voice has kept me playing small. Maybe it’s pandemic fatigue, zoom fatigue, working from home alone too much, social isolation, whatever it is, my self-doubt became loud and present.
If you’ve noticed (bless you!) you haven’t received an email from me for a while, it’s because that inner voice of self-doubt, won.
If you’ve noticed I haven’t posted on social media in a while (bless you!), it’s because… all of the above.
I’ve started many projects like a new product, emails, short videos and then stalled and stopped because my inner voice of self-doubt, won.
What changed? Why are you hearing from me today?
I’ve slowly started to refuel my own tank. What that means is I was giving, giving, giving, and ran out of my own fuel.
I started to refuel by sharing my doubts with others…
that alone made a huge difference!
Then, I started reading more, listening more to my favorite podcasts, fueling my brain with the good stuff … the mindset of athletes and the mindset of successful entrepreneurs.

Photo Courtesy Brett JordanAnd, then? I received this email:

Subject: Miss you
Hi Pam,
I hope you’re doing well. I miss your emails,
for some reason, I am not getting them.
Thank you.
Thank you, Fatima! 
As Oprah says, we all want to feel like we matter. Your short email made me feel like I matter. It was the spark I needed to get motivated.
Now, (at least for today) I’m going for it! I’m taking uncomfortable action. I’m writing even if no one reads it; I’m sending this email out even if it’s not perfect; even if I’m not ready.
The thing is and what I know to be true is we’re never really ready for the next level. The way you get ready is to just do it – to take uncomfortable action. For me, it’s finally writing this email to you.
What has you stuck? Who could help you?
If your self-doubt has you stuck in your relationship, your career, your personal life, try this:
“Throw your knapsack over the wall.”
Pam GarramoneIn his book, Happier, Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar writes:
“Imagine your life as a journey.
You are walking, knapsack on your back,
making good progress until suddenly you reach a brick wall that stands in the way of reaching your destination.
What do you do? Do you turn around, avoid the challenge posed by the barrier?
Or do you take the opposite approach and throw your knapsack over the wall, thus committing yourself to find ways of getting through,
around, or over the wall?”
Today, consider throwing your knapsack over the wall!

the-silent-killerTake one uncomfortable action that you know you want to do, that you know you must do, that will make you feel a little bit happier.
Try it and let me know how it goes!

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Pam Garramone, M.Ed.
Positive Psychology Speaker, Life Coach
Founder - Thrive Now Boston 
(617) 921-3658

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