Just Walk Away

author/source: Cheryl MacDonald

photo courtesy of Marina KhrapovaA few years ago, I was bullied by a group of females that I mistakenly believed were friends of mine.  I would like to share my experience with you as I think that it will help me to feel better as a person.

As I was being bullied there were telltale signs that I should have been aware of but was oblivious to.  As the last event unfolded in a public place, a restaurant I was silent and could not find my voice.  I could not believe this was happening to me.  Not me, I am a kind, loving, caring individual who will give you a hug just to make you feel that you are a wonderful person worth the time to hug.  The following saying means a lot to me, although I didn’t feel this, only shock as it happened.

“My silence doesn’t mean I agree with you.  It means your level of stupidity rendered me speechless” ~ George Orwell

It has taken me years to understand that the word stupidity may be appropriate.  Until now that word to me was HATRED, not stupidity.  I am happy to say that now I have grown to accept stupidity.  There were three people that decided I was not worthy of being their friend and felt it necessary to voice this in a room full of people.  Some of these people I know, some I did not.

Long before this fateful night, there were things happening that were a form of bullying that I was unaware of.  “A vacation was planned by the group and I overheard these three people talking about it and it had been booked.  I asked when it was and why I didn’t know.  The answer was “We told you, you must have forgotten or maybe you were drunk”.  This is a lie.

A member of this group had a son that married and they all sent fake texts about getting together for pizza after the wedding (pictures included) I guess this is a type of cyberbullying as someone (not in the group) told me this was not true.  This was a lie.

News to me was bullying does not only happen to children but to adults too.  Surprisingly, it hurts both groups.

It is not right, and I have many times wondered how people feel that bully.

The definition of bullying is

 “Seek to harm, intimidate, or tyrannize.”

Bullying happens to everyoneThis is a behavior that is surreal to the person being bullied.  One of the common signs of bullying is a change in voice – deep, mean, physical advancement to the victim or trying to get others to join in.  As I was being attacked verbally many thoughts ran through my mind – mostly about the people I know.

No one said anything!  Why not?  You like the person, so stand up for them.  Maybe they do not understand what was going on.  They may of been afraid it would happen to them.  But again no one said anything!

Unfortunately, until this happened to me, I was in a situation with this same group of people who bullied a friend and I was a coward and said nothing.  In my mind, I was thinking how could I stand up to the “Cool group” and if I did would I be next?  I hurt my friend and lost her all in the same day. 

It seems like every day there is news of bullying even though the word is known to so many – the question is why?

Young children, young adults, and adults.  No one is safe from these bullies.

What Makes a Bully?

Photo Courtesy Tamirlan MaratovIs it jealousy, mean at heart, a defective gene, their environment, the good feeling they get seeing someone get hurt, power, insecurity one or all of these?

Walk away from people who put you down.  Walk away from fights that will never be resolved.  Walk away from trying to please people who will never see your worth.  The more you walk away from things that poison your soul the healthier you will be.  Make a future not tied to them.  Keep moving forward and never give up on yourself.

I has been 5 years (almost) and I have been happier than I ever thought I would be.  I have not seen this group of bullies since that day.  They don’t know it but they did me a favor by thinking that they could put me down and I would stay there.  No!  I came out a better person for it.  More confident, better self-esteem.  Unfortunately, not hall have the strength to rebound positively and that is why I shared my story. 

You are a good person.  You will succeed.  Just Walk Away!