The Truth We Tell Ourselves
Trust, truth, integrity, and reality; I think I have said these words more in the last 18 months than I did in the 18 years prior. We regularly talk about these concepts as they relate to our society, media owners, brands and those in positions of power. But we’re not half as judgemental or opinionated about ourselves and instead, such traits are assumed to be innate qualities. It pangs me to say it, but have we become just a little self-righteous?
Telling the truth is one of the first lessons we learn. It’s important to know the difference between a fact and an embellishment; and peers, parents and the systems that keep our society safe, are there to ensure that the truth prevails. There is, however, no such protocol in place to police our ‘internal speak’; how we filter information and the truths we tell ourselves. Instead, we make assumptions and take comfort in repeating the same old messages; ‘This is how it has to be’, ‘I’m doing all I can’, ‘now isn’t the right time’, ‘I made my choice and no one else has to understand it’.
Why is this important? Because the truths we tell ourselves when no one else is listening, direct everything we do and all we believe we are capable of. More importantly, if we don’t tell ourselves some good hard truths when we need them, who will?
So take a deep breath and be honest with yourself:
Do you feel bored, undervalued or capable of more?
And rather than looking at external factors, ask yourself:
‘What assumption are you making or mistruth are you telling yourself that is keeping you in that situation?
Allow yourself the time and space for it to sink in.
Having the courage to say ‘perhaps this doesn’t have to be the case’, is an important first step. It allows you the chance to see that another way or opportunity might exist for you. This kind of self-awareness leads to the self-truth that, in time, creates a greater sense of fulfillment.
The good news in all this is that we have recently been afforded the luxury of becoming experts in the truth, and being able to spot a ‘half-truth’ a mile off. So just for a minute, turn the lens around and take the opportunity to pick holes in your own reality. In seeing the imperfection of your own thought processes, you may find yourself in a more honest future with less internal friction.
Ashana Crichton is an ICF Certified Leadership Coach and Founder of ARC Growth. Within her practice, she specializes in working with women entrepreneurs and mid-career professionals, helping them visualize success, realize goals and maximize their personal potential. Her coaching techniques give clients the clarity and insight to transition into new ways of working for a greater sense of purpose and sustainable work/life balance.
1:1 Coaching helps to increase self-awareness, build confidence and harness values-based
For corporate clients, she complements her Coaching with facilitated workshops and seminars for group/team development.
Name: Ashana Crichton
Title: Leadership Coach & Founder, ARC Growth
Linked In: www.linkedin.com/in/ashana-crichton
email: [email protected]